I first learned about the notion of non-duality from a friend who always seemed to have her life together. She is one of those glowing women on her purpose, married to a dreamy guy, makes plenty of money, and radiates loving energy. She just seems free. “How do you do it?” I would ask. She would smile this knowing smile and say something about how it’s not just about doing, it was about being. “Huh?” I would shrug in response and go back to doing.
The definition of success is in need of a radical makeover. Our beliefs create an environment where stress reigns and attacks our hearts, immune systems, bowels, and minds while keeping us awake most nights. Traditionally success is measured by external validation such as awards, money, "likes", property, relationship, title, and God’s favor. Whether it is Mom or Dad or some renowned institution, we are unconsciously seeking the definition of success modeled by our parents and society. And it's all good. It is a part of growing up. "Likes" are nice. I had a blast for most of my 20s while on a mission to make movies that change the world. It was thrilling and my collection of external validation (Oscar-Nomination, Emmy, TED Fellowship, etc.) fit the contemporary definition of success. As I entered my third generation on Earth, I started to look around at the most “successful” people I knew in the media business and no one had a life I wanted. No one seemed fully alive. It was then that I realized “success”, as we know it, is a trap.